THE DAILY BASEMENT

We at the Daily Basement were robbed. So we're writing this issue on the ceiling. We want to talk about the flooding, we want to talk about Shoomimi's long awaited return on the 22nd, and we certainly want to talk about the pressing economic issues afflicting the Basement... BUT WE'RE TAPED TO THE CEILING. There's a Shoominion outside the office but he won't let us down, they just keep going LBOZO and we go WAAA. The cycle never ends!!!! We want to be free! We're also sort of hungry. The tape looks delicious, but our robbers are cruel! our mouths can't reach. I guess we would also be able to free ourselves if we could eat the tape... A shoominion just came in didn't say a word, ate a roll of tape, and then left... Anyway other news, Angels and Devils are real, Shoomimi made them in a lab. This implies there might be an afterlife we Shoominions can never reach for we are immortal. Someone has been drowning Shoominions in the ocean. The ongoing mining operation was inspired by the classic movie Finding Nemo. By following the drains to the ocean Shoominions have been able to expand mining operations to the sea floor. Someone though is drowning them. When eventually they are pulled back up through the plumbing many Shoominions return unconscious covered in the faint scent of urine. Who it could be disrupting the mining operation remains a mystery. Residents are left wondering who would pee in the ocean? But seriously could someone let us down from up here?