THE DAILY BASEMENT

'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the Basement. Not a Shoominion was stirring, except for a few rats. Stolen socks were hung by the TV with care. Then the lights went out, as if someone had flipped them off. This could mean only one thing. The Feds were a raiding. Of course the lights were out and no one could reach the light-switch so the following events could not be seen. Everything you are about to read is a second hand account of the Christmas battle against the Feds. After the lights went out there was an initial panic, Weapons firing in every direction against the unknown assailants. Many Shoominions were wounded by what can only be assumed to have been enemy fire. In the darkness no one could see that the snow had begun to melt. The Feds were flooding the Basement. Unfortunately this flooding would spell disaster, because the Bathbombs for Operation Counter Smell were being stored downstairs. The stockpile of Bathbombs, which were "bought" under false pretenses of being actual bombs, burst into suds. In desperation a final counter attack was made. Shoominions of the cult of vertical bar, having prophesied that the non-xdxer's would be purged from the Basement in a flood one day, had built many boats. These basement crafted boats all sank. During this time someone managed to finally reach the light-switch due to the rising water. The lights turning on scared off the feds. In the aftermath of this disaster there was only two casualties: the disney guy and the Nintendo Switch. Initially he was believed to be a fed that perished in the raid until they saw the mickey mouse ears. The Nintendo Switch will be dearly missed. Shoomimi is also gone. Possibly captured. Drastic measures will have to be taken.