The writer of the daily basement has disappeared. Emi a potato, has not been seen since departing to follow a lead to the possible origin of the contagion. This lead had something to do with a personal ad in the Mandyall section of this very paper. The personal ad involved hugs. Which have been the main vector of transmission between Shoominions. discuss Lord David nor anyone with the newly formed Ministry could not be reached for comment. Lord David is the only one with a hazmat suit down in the basement. Shoomimi was also infected following a series of unprompted, unknowing hugs. The solution proposed by the purported 7 foot tall* leader was launched post haste. The purported cure is being sold at 21% off. The discounted cost reflects the health benefits won in the last union negotiations. Some Shoominions are "Malding" that they do not have full health coverage. They refuse to pay for the cure and have concocted "Funny Juice". The elixir brewed in the basement's non-functioning bucket will be ready tomorrow.
Currently posting articles is restricted, comments and archive are still available.
Shoomimi = Tinky.
